Thursday, December 22, 2011

My sister's weird dream


My sister has the strangest dreams. And this is no joke. She'll wake up in the morning and say to me, "Last night I had the strangest dream." Then she'll proceed to tell me the dream and I am obligated to concur because . . . well . . . the dream was weird.


Take this one for example: (I'll do my best to repeat this in exactly her voice so you get the full effect.)


"Last night I had the strangest dream. I dreamt that you shot my dog.”
            “You dreamt I shot your dog?”
“Yes. There was a badger running through the house. It was running around wildly and driving everyone crazy. I wanted to shoot it, but much to my dismay, I couldn’t find any bullets. Instead, I opted to use small licorice pieces as ammunition. As I was loading them into the gun, I heard a gunshot from somewhere upstairs. Then you appeared carrying my dead puppy in your arms. You apologized and said you shot him mistaking him for the badger. I punched you in the face."


As you can imagine, as I am listening to this I am thinking that is absolutely absurd! Why would I ever pick up a dead dog?


Here is yet another example of the things my sister's subconscious mind can conjure. (Again, I'll be doing it in her exact voice.)


"Last night I had the strangest dream. (did I not tell you she says that?) I dreamt that I was moving to the moon with Sara. I tied all of my stuff to really large balloons and sent them on their way, but then Sara decided she no longer wanted to go, so I had a really big problem. How was I ever going to get my stuff back?"


That is a pickle. I’m glad it wasn’t my problem.







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